


Cut

by angededesespoir



Series: Tumblr Prompt Memes [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Gen, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29822850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: For the prompt: "standing up after a haircut that leaves your head feeling lighter".
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Hatake Sakumo
Series: Tumblr Prompt Memes [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/684431
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6
Collections: Naruto Multishippers Anonymous





	Cut

**Author's Note:**

> (Also on [Tumblr](https://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/644651693021200384/cut).) Done for a 30 minute challenge using Prompt 65: ‘standing up after a haircut that leaves your head feeling lighter’ from this [prompt list](https://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/644647360218152960/more-sensory-prompts).
> 
> [So I was part way through writing this when it hit me that the idea for the starting scene may be similar to something I read ages ago. So uhhh just in case- the first part of this was inspired by the vague memory I have of a scene in Ahkaraii’s “[Five](https://ahkaraii.tumblr.com/post/168506732968/five-masterpost)” comic. It’s been awhile since I read it, so hopefully this isn’t too similar to that moment, but anyway- please check out their comic if you haven’t! It’s amazing! (I really need to reread it sometime.)]

He had acted on impulse, again- a growing stain to his once untarnished record.

Sakumo rises, the lopped off ponytail clutched in one hand, the blade in the other. The absence of the hair leaves an unusual lightness at his back; the weight of his teammate’s stares taking its’ place.  
He holds out his hand (clenched tight to try to mask the tremble that creeps in) and bows his head- an offering, an atonement, an acknowledgement that things will not be the same.

He does not need to see them to know that this is not enough, that he is now branded a fool _(if not worse)_ in their eyes. He waits- smothered by the silence as much as the pipe smoke- until he is dismissed. 

He does not feel relief when he escapes that room, only the building dread as he trudges home, thinking of the families that will be torn apart, the children that will die because of him. He shivers and he’s not sure if it’s because of the cold night air on his now bare neck or the haunting image of his own son potentially falling to an enemy blade.

\--

When he enters his home, his son greets him with an odd stare, points out the stray locks that cling to his neck, shoulders, waiting to fall. He lets out a nervous laugh, suddenly all too aware of how the strands tickle his flesh. He hesitates for a moment before brushing them away. _‘It’s only hair,’_ he reminds himself. (And yet, he can’t help the gnawing feeling that part of him is now missing).

When his son calls to him, he jerks his head. (For a moment, he is half caught off guard by the emptiness, missing the sensation the ponytail once made to such a movement). He faces him, expecting a question that does not come. Instead Kakashi is explaining a new jutsu he learned.

Perhaps he should be relieved, but there’s still that nagging feeling, the phantom weight. He swallows and tries to focus on the words instead of the actions replaying in his head, the violent what-ifs blooming in his mind.

When he feels the hand- so small, yet so firm- gripping his own, their eyes meet and he has to force himself not to look away in shame. There’s a question there and like a coward, instead of answering, he reaches out to ruffle his son’s hair, fingers lingering there- at the spot where his own is in disrepair.

“What else did you learn today?”

_He’s not sure who he’s asking._

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to add more detail but I ran out of time. ^^; I at least managed to write more than I thought I could!
> 
> Anyway, I feel like a lot of people would look at this prompt and see it as an opportunity to write a piece focusing on more positive things, but uhhh... here we are. Head physically lighter, but mind quite a bit heavier. Because it's really cathartic to write stuff like this. (I'm so sorry, Sakumo. ;_;)


End file.
